Konoha Mishaps
by Amestris-Exile
Summary: What happens when the Konoha Genin aren't training? Eight hilarious drabbles. Mild language.


_These are random little dialogues that pop up in my head in school daily. I'll re-update with new ones when i get more. All characters property of Kishimoto. Fanfic belongs to me. Lilium. Duh._

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The Ultimate Showdown

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_Gai: Okay, Kakashi... it all comes down to this!  
Kakashi: So it would seem. We've tied 647 times to date, right?  
Gai: 648!  
Kakashi: Oh yes. I forgot about the water balloon fight.  
Naruto: WHAT!??  
Sakura: -punches him hard on the head- Naruto, you baka... SHUT UP!  
Naruto: Dattebayo...  
Gai: So, how do we end this, eh?  
Kakashi: Well, it has to be big...  
Gai: It has to be manly...  
Kakashi: It has to be the ender of all competitions... I've got it!  
(Gai and Kakashi rip off clothes, now wearing dresses)  
Gai and Kakashi: -in unison- RUNWAY SHOW!  
Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto: -fall backwards unconscious-_

* * *

Byakugan Backfire

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_Outside the women's bath house: Neji is hidden in bushes, Byakugan activated  
Neji: Hehe, I see you... Oh man, Jiraiya-san would kill for this...  
Lee: -steps in front of him- Neji-kun, what are you doing?  
Neji: -falls backward, holding his eyes- Oh GOD! My eyes! Oh God, it BURNS!_

* * *

The Spider (dedicated to Rainey and Melanie)

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_Gaara: -holding a spider in his hands- My pretty little friend... you're my best friend...  
Temari: -sees the spider- Oh my God, Gaara! Put that down!  
Gaara: -holds spider up- Wanna touch it?  
Temari: -runs off-  
Gaara: -chases her and drops the spider- C'mon, Temari! TOUCH IT! NYAHAHAHA!  
Kankurou: -walks in and sees the spider, then steps on it- I can't believe I'm related to you bakas..._

* * *

When Fangirls Attack...

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_Ino: Hey Sakura... who do you think has more fangirls, Neji or Sasuke?  
Sakura: Hmm... well, I'd say they're tied here on FanFiction. But if I had to pick, I'd bet my money on Sasuke.  
Ino: Ew, no way! Neji so kills him in the fangirl department!  
Inner Sakura: CHYAAA! Don't let that blond whore badmouth Sasuke-kun!  
Sakura: Yeah right, Ino-pig!  
Ino: Sakura-baka!  
Sakura: INO-PIG!  
Ino:SAKURA-BA--  
(both are cut off by a stampede of fangirls chasing Kiba down the street)  
Kiba: OMG, the fangirls! SAVE ME!  
Fangirls: We love you!  
Ino: (sighs and brabs a steel bat) Might as well go crack some skulls..._

* * *

Fetch!

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_Kiba: -throws stick- Fetch, Akamaru!  
Akamaru: Arf! -fetches it-  
Kiba: Good boy! -throws it again- Fetch!  
Akamaru: -fetches it-  
Inner Akamaru: ZOMG this is stupid! Make him get it for once!  
Akamaru: -throws it the other direction and points to it with his paw- ARF!  
Kiba: Okay! -fetches it-  
Akamaru: Awooo... -pats Kiba on the head-_

* * *

Stone Cold Busted

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_Shikamaru: Oi... what a bore.  
Naruto: -in Sexy no Jutsu form- Is it boring now?  
Shikamaru: -restrains a nosebleed- Go away... baka...  
Naruto: -turns into Sexy no Jutsu Ino- How 'bout now?  
Shikamaru: -starts twitching- Ungh... uch... go away...  
Naruto: -turns into Sexy no Jutsu Ino and Sakura- How 'bout now?  
Shikamaru: -flies backward with full-on nosebleed- OMFG, THAT'S THE HOTTEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN!  
Ino (the real one) : -jumps out of bushes- NARA SHIKAMARU, YOU ARE DEAD!  
Shikamaru: -runs off as Ino chases him and hits him in the head with rocks-

* * *

_Stress...

* * *

_Sasuke: I will kill you Itachi...  
Naruto: -looks up from ramen- Huh? Where the hell'd that come from!!?  
Sakura: -too busy scheming Ino's downfall to notice anything-  
Sasuke: -stabs a tree randomly with a kunai- Nyahahahaha!  
Naruto and Sakura: -sweatdrop- He's stressed...

* * *

_Student and Sensei (dedicated to Robert)

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_Gai: Lee!  
Lee: Hai, sensei!  
Gai: Your soul has been lit with the recumbrent fires of youth! Lee! What have I taught you?  
Lee: -salute- That the Lotus will always bloom twice!  
Gai: Very good, my dashing young apprentice! Now, let us do five hundred laps around Konoha on our hands to celebrate! But don't mess up your hair, or it'll be a thousand squats!  
Lee: Hai, Gai-sensei!

* * *

_Fin. Yes, I am a retard. XOXO, Lilium_


End file.
